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How To Redefine Your Self-Worth

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A man’s self-worth should not be inextricably linked to the health of his romantic relationship. Imagine how horrible it must be if the value you place on yourself as a man is one hundred percent dependent on whether or not things are going well with you and your woman.
Some men won’t admit this, but because they place such a high level of value on their ability to “make a woman happy” the moment their wives or girlfriends become unhappy with them (or even unhappy in general) they lose their sense of self-worth. It’s as if men like this suffer from a limiting belief, one that equates their personal value with the value of their relationship. Once the relationship falters so does everything else in their lives.
This perpetual dependency has the capacity to immobilize them should the woman they love show any sign of discord. This is a preposterously flawed paradigm to live by. No man should place a major portion of his well-being on his significant other’s approval and agreeability.

The limiting belief that the level of perfection in a relationship equates to one’s self-worth can manifest itself in other ways as well. Some men, in combination with their need to please others may link their self-worth to how healthy their relationship appears to the outside world.

In their eternal quest for approval, they’d rather hide the defects of their relationship in order to maintain the illusion of perfection and/or superiority. But little do they know that they’re not fooling anyone. The
moment someone speaks negatively of their relationship they become self-doubting and visibly insecure. The moment someone speaks positively about their relationship they burst with seeming confidence and aplomb.
Again, I speak of such things not from a soapbox, but from my own humbling experiences. A particularly embarrassing example from my own life comes to mind. My wife and I were once invited to a game-night for couples to play a game called Spouse-o-logy along with three other couples. It’s a game that tests your knowledge of your spouse, kind of like The Newlywed Game television show. At first the game started off quite fun, but as it progressed I soon began to seethe with frustration. We were losing. Horribly.
To make matters worse, I couldn’t figure out why the Dickens I was getting so worked up. As the game went on I grew less and less enthused about playing which solidified our spectacular loss against the other married couples. It was not one of my proudest moments, I can tell you that much.
Now, I am a very introspective person and upon deep pontification the following day I slowly realized why I had lost my cool and taken our defeat so personally. I realized that I had so much of my own self-worth tied to what the other couples thought of my marriage that I couldn’t stand to lose at such a game. Ridiculous, I know, but don’t judge me.

I realized that I couldn’t believe that my wife and I were losing to the other couples. Weren’t we perfect, or at least superior to the other couples? How dare we get those questions wrong in front of our friends and thereby remove the illusory veil of ostensible perfection.
Granted, I did take into consideration that I can be hyper-competitive when it comes to knowledge-based games (it’s a writer thing). I also admit that I HATE losing, perhaps even on a cellular level. But even with those considerations I grasped that something was very off about my attitude towards the whole thing.
I took the loss far too personally and this was BEFORE we were even mid-way through the game. It wasn’t logical, and therefore I deduced that my own inner beliefs about how we looked to others as a couple caused the unnecessary frustration. The challenge thereon out was to redefine my self-worth by becoming more down-to-earth. I needed to
give up my need to have others bear witness to my “perfect” marriage, and I also needed to simply lighten up.

It’s important for a man to learn from his experiences, no matter how painful, embarrassing, or humbling they may be. This was definitely one of the more humbling experiences and it taught me a great deal of some of my own inner struggles at the time.
Not taking yourself so seriously helps a great deal to keep your head out of your behind. Besides, in retrospect, no one cared that we were losing.
Each couple evidently had their own issues; issues that they laughed about together and took in stride. Lesson learned, and I’m a better man for it.

Photo Source: Unplash.com

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When men imitate women on Instagram

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To make fun of men, men had a brilliant idea, imitating women with the poses they adopt on their Instagram accounts.

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Women Treat You How You Treat You

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We always earn what we believe we deserve even if we think we deserve better. Therefore, even a woman will treat you how you allow and train her to based on your own self-belief. Understanding this one concept is the starting point to becoming a man with strong personal boundaries. Because your reality is a perpetual and often merciless mirror of whatyou believe about yourself, you’ll never be able to change the way a woman treats you if you don’t believe that you deserve better.

The human mind functions in such a way as to attain congruence (there’s that word again). It will work overtime to close the gap between who you think you are and what your behaviors portray until the two correspond.
This is why you’re compelled to behave in a way that matches with your self-belief. As the saying goes, “you can’t hide what’s inside.” If you inwardly believe that you’re a man of low-value, just about everyone you relate with will treat you as such.

Even your adoring wife or girlfriend might find herself struggling to treat you with respect if you neglect your own well being over time. No woman wants to be with a loser (unless she’s a loser herself) and she’ll give a man hell in an effort to induce a positive change.

So what’s the solution? How does a man increase his sense of self-worth and make it difficult for anyone to disrespect him? How does a man ensure that the opinion he has of himself is worth more to him than the opinions of others? The answer is so simple it’s embarrassing to say: Develop rock-solid self-belief by becoming a better man

Photo source: Unplash.com

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8 Characteristics Of A Healthy Personality

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A healthy personality is a blend of many tiny factors that altogether make an ordinary personality into a great healthy personality. It also shows how mentally strong one is, a healthy personality is a joyful one who wears a smile, who displays ethical moral values. Take a look below of the characteristics of a healthy personality

  1. He is Adaptable
    A healthy personality is the one who has adaptability in him, who knows how to mold himself according to the circumstances. The social environment is well dealt out by a healthy personality.
  2. He is a Good Listener
    A healthy personality always gives time others to have their say, he listens to them keenly without showing any boredom. He doesn’t just have good command on speaking; instead, he knows others also have the right to express their opinion.
  3. He is Polite
    A healthy personality is always polite in manners, no matter whom he confronts to he always keeps his tone respectful, he doesn’t react curtly with the curt ones, he maintains his individuality no matter what happens.
  4. He is Approachable
    A person who keeps a healthy person is always approachable and accommodating, he is friendly and easy-going, and people find great comfort in discussing their issues with him.
  5. He knows How to Play at Both Sides
    He is smart to play at both sides, he maintains his dignity yet he is humble and meek. He knows how to manage this balance well.
  6. He is Generous and Promising
    A healthy personality is never reluctant to admire others and their achievements, he open-heartedly appreciates others. A healthy personality is the one who knows how to keep the promises. He keeps on his words no matter what happens.
  7. He always Embraces Positive Changes
    A healthy personality always makes him-self embrace the positive changes because he knows there is no end of perfection; you can add up more to your personality no matter in which phase of age you are at.
  8. He can Stand the Difference of Opinion
    A healthy person is not short-fused when he is confronted with the difference of opinion, he stands with it patiently.
    These things prove that you have strong mental health, you don’t get biased, jealous and bitter. We should always try to make ourselves better by making positive changes in our habits.

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